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If you like me,
you'll like them too:
Annalisa
Bitter Girl
Dooce
Feministe
Green Fairy
Jay
Jeanette Winterson
Jen Langley
Maganda
Sooz
Zeldman

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April 13, 2003

I'm losing my touch. There's no doubt about it. This very site was down for three days because I forgot to renew my domain registration. ARGH. How much time did I spend gathering info about the various domains registered to my last company, finding out which variation of the company name was listed for which domain in the whois database, checking on the expiration dates, making sure that the renewals happened smoothly and in advance, so that this exact same goddamn thing wouldn't happen?

Springtime addles my brain. Springtime in Boston is just plain brutal. It's the snow-rain-sunshine-sleet-sunshine-blooming flowers-snow routine that really wears a person down. When T.S. Eliot wrote that line in The Wasteland, "April is the cruelest month," he must have been talking about Boston.

What makes it cruel is not the glimmerings of warmth, the slow and luscious opening of the earth after so many months of freezing. It's that just when you let your guard down and slip on the sandals, the cold comes along to laugh at you and slap you in your frostbitten face.

So that you never know which coat to wear, or how many layers, or whether you need an umbrella, and that no matter how you dress, you're either too hot or too hold. And so that, as a gardener (yes, a bona fide fingers-in-the-dirt gardener) my fingers itch whenever there's a clear day out. But by the time I bring out the mulch, the bucket and the rake, it's turned cold and rainy--or snowy--again.

Not that I have enough money to actually buy mulch these days, let alone the lovely little plants that make me salivate at the greenhouse. Nope, I'm just making friends with the collections agents who call, telling to wait for that fabled check from my retirement fund.

Which should be coming any year now.

Oh, and yeah, then there's the ghosts of the womenchildrenmenanimals killed in Iraq--and the constant, nagging knowledge that there really is no right and just side in this war. In any war, really. That in the end, war itself brings death and destruction, no matter how "just" the cause.